Has it ever happened that someone with authority over you has misjudged you, ignored your attempts at correcting the error, and then proceeded to tell others of your bad character and instructed them to say nothing to you, all behind your back? How does it make you feel? This has happened to me four times. Each time, I felt like my character had been assassinated even though I was still physically alive. In the mind of the perpetrator, I have ceased to exist and he or she wanted others to treat me the same. Because I am not in authority I have little recourse. So how do you feel: hurt, destroyed, cheated, belittled, devalued, incriminated? Do you have evil thoughts against that person? I do.
But consider Jesus’ enemies did all that to him; how did He respond? When he was arrested, he went willingly. When he was falsely accused before the authorities, he remained silent and did not argue. When he was physically harmed, he bore the pain. When asked if he was a king, he replied positively without criticism. He only spoke the truth, and did not argue or defend himself. From his point of view, the matter was in God’s hands, not his.
In those situations where I have felt betrayed, I have tried to model His attitude. Turning the matter over to Jesus and allowing Him to continue to guide and bless me is the only way through such hurts. In one case, I wrote out all my complaints against the other person and prayerfully gave this entire list to Jesus. Then I met with the perpetrator and asked him what he had against me. He cited the same falsehoods but did not acknowledge any error on his part. I then without accepting that those complaints were true, I just asked if he would forgive me and said nothing about my complaints. He was taken aback at this but managed a positive reply. Then an interesting thing happened. For the next three days I kept having thoughts to take up the grudge again since he acknowledged no guilt in the matter. Each time I told Satan I gave all that to Jesus, so he should go see Him about it. After those three days, all such thoughts disappeared and never returned. Though I was never vindicated I had peace and joy in my soul.
I have not had the same opportunity with the other three cases, but in each case, it has been necessary specifically to give the negative feelings and hurts to Jesus to be freed from their bad influence on me. That is not easy, but the sacrifice is worth the effort. It also requires a commitment to continue to leave my negative feelings and thoughts in His hands and refuse to take them up again. What about those who have been misled by the perpetrator’s evil and who avoid me? I forgive them and hold nothing against them and continue to treat them with kindness when I encounter them. Just as Jesus said on the cross, “Father, forgive them. They do not know what they do.” I trust God to give me the grace to allow them their negative attitudes toward me as I accept His love and guidance in my life.
Such evil against us can only be countered with the love of Jesus in our hearts. We will likely never receive reconciliation, so the only way of peace is to leave the whole matter in Jesus’ hands. In that way, we can be freed from their bondage and walk forward with God’s leading in whatever new thing He has for us. God is taking me lovingly in a new direction. Walk forward with Him and quit looking back.