This week I heard of a young man who took his own life. Such an unfortunate loss leaves many questions unanswered. Why did he do it? What was he struggling with? Did anyone know of the issues he was facing? Could someone have intervened and helped him? Where is he now? Did God accept him into heaven in spite of his self-inflicted murder? I am going to share with you what some of the eyewitnesses to heaven in Heaven Is Beyond Imagination said about this last question.
Dr. Maurice Rawlings, author of Beyond Death’s Door, was a cardiologist and witnessed many patients return from a temporary death. He compiled many of his experiences with patients and those of other doctors in his book. The event that sent him in this direction was the experience of a patient who had been having chest pains and the doctor wanted to do some stress tests to determine the cause and condition of his problem. He attached the patient to an EKG machine and had him walk on a treadmill as the doctor slowly increased the rate, monitoring his heart. The result was that his heart stopped and he collapsed on the floor in full cardiac arrest. The doctor immediately began chest compressions and called for help. The patient quickly revived, but he had a look of terror in his face and exclaimed, “I am in hell! “ This happened several times and each time he would start coming to, the doctor would reach for something, interrupting the CPR and he would die again. Each time he regained heartbeat and respiration, the patient screamed, “I’m in hell!” He was terrified and pleaded with Dr. Rawlings to help him. This episode literally scared the hell out of Dr. Rawlings! It terrified him enough to write his book.
He then noticed a genuinely alarmed look on the man’s face that Dr. Rawlings described as being worse than the expression seen in death! The patient had a grotesque grimace expressing sheer horror! His pupils were dilated, and he was perspiring and trembling. He looked as if his hair was on end.
The patient said, “Don’t you understand? I am in hell. Each time you stop I go back to hell! Don’t let me go back to hell!”
After several death episodes, he finally asked, how does one stay out of hell? Dr. Rawlings told him that he guessed Jesus Christ would be the one whom you would ask to save you.
The patient asked Dr. Rawlings to pray for him and repeated it, so Dr. Rawlings, who didn’t have much experience praying and in fact was not active in a relationship with the Lord, had him pray, “Lord Jesus, I ask you to keep me out of hell. Forgive my sins. I turn my life over to you. If I die I want to go to heaven. If I live, I’ll be ‘on the hook’ forever.”
The patient’s condition stabilized, and he went to a hospital. He had two more episodes of dying, but these times he had a good experience, and not the horrors of hell. When the patient had sufficiently recovered, Dr. Rawlings asked him to tell what was so terrifying. But he couldn’t recall anything about it; leading Dr. Rawlings to conclude one must hear the patient immediately after recovery to hear reports of negative experiences, which he has found to be as much as half the time.
After this he paid much more attention to patients’ temporary death experiences and received the cooperation of many other doctors. All this is background to his comments regarding suicide, which is the subject of this article. But he has very little to say because very few of those who have recovered from attempted suicide have had any out-of-body experiences they are willing to talk about. He doesn’t know of any good experiences that have resulted from attempted suicide. He mentions only one experience. A fourteen-year-old girl who during recovery said, “Mama, help me! Make them let go of me! They’re trying to hurt me!” The doctor’s apologized for hurting her, but she said it wasn’t the doctors, it was “Them, those demons in hell…They would not let go of me…They wanted me…I couldn’t get back…It was just awful!”
John Bunyon contemplated killing himself to find out the truth about what happens when we die. When he was in a field with a knife about to kill himself, he heard a voice say, “The fatal stroke you are considering will assure your damnation, for how could you hope for mercy if you willfully destroy yourself, who was made in the image of God.” He repented of his plan and fell on his knees and praised God for His mercy.
Kat Kerr, on the other hand, says that God told her that each instance is considered separately. Although suicide is defined as intentionally killing oneself, if that person is a believer and has lost control of his/her reasoning because of physical, emotional, or mental trauma, God might consider it “ending [his/her] suffering” rather than suicide and that person would not be excluded from heaven. She then gives two stories from several she has witnessed to confirm this. In the first case, a thirteen-year-old boy had lived most of his life in abusive foster homes. He did except Christ and was placed in a good home, but the damage had already been done, and he was never able to cope and ended his suffering. Kat saw him in heaven, and he was a different boy, filled with the love of God, happy, playing in a rock band, and playing junior football.
Another person was a long-time believer who at twenty years old was in a serious auto accident and was on very strong medication that took away his normal reasoning powers. Soon he ended his suffering. Kat saw him in heaven several times, and he was very sorry for the pain he caused his family, and he wanted them to know he is in heaven, because some well-meaning friends had told his parents he wouldn’t be there. He was in his father’s mountain home enjoying many of the things he had done with his father. She saw on the mantel a trophy with the words: “God 1—Satan 0.”
So what can we conclude? First, I would say if we have the opportunity, to try desperately to understand why the person is suffering and do what we can in love to help him or her. If the person is rational and being motivated by demonic forces, as John Bunyon was, we can repeat the voice from God that he heard, because surely it is not going to turn out well. Beyond that, if the person is a Christian but his or her life has been stressful and troubled, pray that God’s mercy will take the victim’s circumstances into consideration as happened in the two cases Kat Kerr cited and welcome him or her into the total healing, love, and acceptance of heaven. As Dr. Rawlings stated, suicide may not be a way to end all the suffering but may be only the beginning of greater suffering, so we must do all we can to help the troubled person, even encouraging him or her to accept Jesus’ gift of forgiveness. But if we can’t, pray God’s mercy on their behalf.
Characterizing suicide as the willful destruction of one’s self, made in God’s own image, makes for a very powerful statement, one we all should keep first and foremost in mind in times of despair.
I recently read Dr. Rawling’s book, “To Hell and Back,” and can report he has become quite a devout Christian. As a cardiologist and resuscitation specialist, he has firsthand experience with near death experiences, and consequently has some awesome tales to tell.
Thank you for the post!